Bloody Eyebrow

You know what MMA doesn’t need any more of? Comparisons to pro wrestling. Every fucking week is another moronic essay by some blogger that grew up watching oiled-up steroid junkies pretend to slap each other around comparing what’s going on between the UFC and Strikeforce to the business antics of Vince McMahon.

What’s the point? Really? I mean, if you’re going to compare the machinations between rival MMA promotions to something, why pick pro wrestling? Is it because they both wear tight pants? They’re both on the same low-rent cable network? Shit – compare them to warring ballet companies or the on-going battle between foul-smelling deodorants.

Get a new metaphor, assholes.

Kid Nate reporting on the news that Sean Sherk is skipping out on drug testing writes:

Sherk apparently didn’t listen when I pointed out that the CSAC random drug testing system is clearly targeting fighters who have previously failed drug tests.

Evidently Nate has convinced himself of a number of absolutely insane things:

1. He thinks Sherk is rationally using steroids to give himself an advantage when it’s clear that Sherk is completely out of control.
2. He thinks it’s okay for Sherk to use steroids, as long as he doesn’t get caught when several states now do random off-cycle testing.
3. He thinks Sherk reads Bloody Elbow. (Do we even have any evidence that he can read?)

I’m not saying Sherk couldn’t be reading that other BE site, just that his meathead attitude seems more suited to Sherdog or the UG. And let’s face it, Sherk has a full schedule of beating tractor tires to death and downing every pill he can find at the GNC. If he doesn’t have time to even read the labels on stuff he’s putting in his body, there’s no way he’s making time for blogs.

Here’s the thing – I like to pretend that when I write my love letters to Megan Fox she reads them, sighs heavily, and pastes them into her scrapbook, but once I’m done rubbing one out, I come back to reality. Sherk isn’t reading – he’s roiding.